When was the last time you said “time flies” or “I don’t have enough time” or “time’s running out” or even “I’m too old to do that”?

I recently conducted a poll of riders over the age of 50 and asked them what were their biggest challenges. One of their top answers was “time”. And when I thought about this, I was looking at it from the point of view of managing time daily. I even wrote an article on this topic: Time Management: Finding Time for Horses.

But it occurred to me that there may be something more to this question. There may be more behind the  challenge than just daily tips on time management. For riders over 50, I believe it may have to do with the mindset of “running out of time”. As a rider over 50 myself, I know that these thoughts occupy my mind quite often. Sometimes, I’m even motivated by them.

As kids, it seemed like the school year dragged on, Christmas was so far away, and even summers were long.  So why does it seem like the older we get the faster time goes by?

Studies Show

 

Researchers have been fascinated with this topic for years. It turns out there have been several studies done on the perception of time.

In one recent study, researchers surveyed 499 participants, ranging in age from 14 to 94 years, about the pace at which they felt time moving. Their rating ranged from “very slowly” to “very fast.” The results showed that for shorter durations—a week, a month, even a year—the subjects’ perception of time did not appear to increase with age. Most participants felt that the clock ticked by quickly.

But for longer durations, such as a decade, older people tended to perceive time as moving faster. When asked to reflect on their lives, the participants older than 40 felt that time elapsed slowly in their childhood but then accelerated steadily through their teenage years into early adulthood.

Another researcher suggested that there’s an inversely proportional relationship between our brain’s processing of stimuli and the sense of time speeding by. They found that when you are young and experiencing lots of new things, time actually seems to  pass more slowly. As you get older, the production of mental images slows, giving the sense that time passes more quickly.

Other studies have shown that the greater the cognitive demands of a task, the longer its duration is perceived to be. With lots of new stimuli our brains take longer to process the information so that the period of time feels longer.

As far back as 1890, Psychologist William James, in his text Principles of Psychology, wrote that as we age, time seems to speed up because adulthood is accompanied by fewer and fewer memorable events. When the passage of time is measured by “firsts” (first kiss, first day of school, first family vacation), the lack of new experiences in adulthood, causes “the days and weeks to smooth themselves out…and the years grow hollow and collapse.”

Although James’ comment seems a bit morose, his point is that from childhood to early adulthood, we have many fresh experiences and learn countless new skills. As adults, though, our lives become more routine, and we experience fewer unfamiliar moments. As a result, our early years tend to be relatively over represented in our memory and, upon reflection, seem to have lasted longer.

What This Means

 

So, what does this all mean for you as a rider over 50? It means that we can slow down how we perceive time.  We can alter our perception by keeping our brains active. By continually learning skills and ideas, and exploring new places. We have so many opportunities to practice these ideas with our horses. There is always something new to learn, some problem to solve, and some physical task to complete that will keep our minds and our bodies going strong.

 

But, how do we rein in our thinking so that it becomes a useful tool for us instead of taking us down some path of dread or unease? Consider this:

 

1. The importance of living in the moment. Placing importance on the present, where we are at and what we are doing right now. If we are always focusing on our exciting future plans and the activities on our future calendar, we may have a tendency to dismiss the importance of what’s happening around us right now. And this may have the effect of “wishing your life away”. You make your plans in the future seem more valuable than what you are doing right now. Focusing on the present, and creating new memories now, will help you feel like you are slowing things down.

 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t have goals. On the contrary, goals are very important. They act as a rudder to give us direction. But we shouldn’t be discounting the daily activities and the lessons learned that allow us to reach those goals.

 

2. Consider your thoughts about time to actually catch what you are thinking. These are thoughts about not having enough time to accomplish things. Thoughts about being rushed and not being able to spend time doing the things we want to do. Judgement about ourselves and how we are using our time. Worrying about having less time and more obligations.

There are also the thoughts that create a feeling that our time on earth is running out. And it’s true, every day we get older. The problem comes with the story we tell ourselves about what all of this means.

We used to think about aging in a positive way. Milestones like learning to drive, turning 18 (or 21 as the case may be), going to college or getting that first job. We had zero negative thoughts about these things.

But as we get older and begin to experience physical changes or changes in our family dynamics, we begin to create a negative story about what these things mean. Our focus may change from what we can do to what we can’t do. We may have regrets on lost opportunities or we may begin to have thoughts about how the years ahead will be worse than those we’ve previously experienced.

How to Control Your Thinking

 

But, here is the good news! All of these things are thoughts. And guess what? We can control our thoughts! Yes! You can learn to think on purpose rather than allowing these negative thoughts about aging to run around unsupervised in your brain making you feel miserable.

So, here’s how:

 

1. Notice the actual thought you are thinking when the topic of the aging or the passage of time shows up. Notice what triggers you to start going down that negative thought rabbit hole.

 

2. Then, take a moment to notice what you are feeling. Is it dread? Is it sadness? Is it fear? Or is it something else totally?

 

3. Next, think about what you are likely to do when you find yourself feeling that way. Do you make comments about your memory? Do you focus on what you can’t do anymore? Do you stop doing certain things because you are afraid? Do you give up on a dream?

 

4. Next, notice that the result you get from your actions will actually prove your original thought. So, if you think you’re too old to do something, like learning how to ride for example, your feelings about learning to ride will prove your thought. Your actions (or inaction in this case) to not learn, will actually prove to your brain that, “yep, you were right, you’re too old to learn how to ride“. Your brain will look for evidence to prove your original thought. That’s the way it’s wired!

 

5. Take a moment and decide how you want to feel instead. If you decide that you want to feel excited about your future, for example, what thought can you think instead that would create that feeling of excitement for you? I heard someone say one time that they frequently replace negative thoughts about time and the future with the thought that “this is only the beginning”!

If we replace our original thought with something useful that serves us better, then our feelings will change along with our actions and the results we get will prove our better thought.That’s how it works!

Conclusion

 

This little exercise of noticing our thoughts and replacing them with better more useful thoughts is a skill. And we can learn and practice and use this skill throughout our lives anytime our thinking takes us down paths that don’t serve us. I hope you find it useful!

And if you are thinking about buying your first or your next dream horse, then you will want to get my free Dream Horse Buyer’s Guide! Its full of everything you need to narrow your search and find the horse of your dreams. Get it today!

Enjoy the Ride!