Do you ever think about your things you want to accomplish with your horse or your riding and then suddenly realize that you’re not sure how to make them happen? Does thinking about accomplishing those things make you feel nervous or scared? Do you put them off or whittle them down to something more “doable”? 

 

If so, then guess what? You’re normal! The bad news is that this “normal” response is what can keep us from growing in our riding and can keep us stuck. Stretching outside of your comfort zone is where new learning takes place. It’s where dreams are made of!  

 

When it comes to horses and riding, stretching outside of our comfort zone does not mean putting ourselves in danger. On the contrary, what I’m talking about here is a gentle way of stretching ourselves to bring new skills into a new comfort zone.  

 

Be Intentional About What You Want to Accomplish

 

The first step in stretching your comfort zone is knowing what you want to work on. Is there a particular skill you want to develop? Maybe you have a specific skill you want to teach your horse. Perhaps you had a fall and you want to ride, but you’re terrified you’ll get hurt. Maybe you’re in a slump and struggle to make it out to the barn. Or maybe you just want to finally learn how to ride. Whatever it is, be clear about what you want to accomplish. 

 

One of things I’ve been wanting to work on with my horse Lulu is to make her more of an “all around” horse. Lulu was trained as a cutting horse. I bought her 5 years ago as a 5 year old to compete in the sport of cutting. As we have both aged however, my goals for Lulu have changed. I’d like her to be more of the “ideal riding horse” I wrote about in my recent article: 

 

10 Traits Of An Ideal Riding Horse

 

Lulu, however, has really never had any significant training beyond cutting. I’ve worked with her some over the years, but she has a long way to go. She is, however, a very teachable horse. She’s calm and willing and has no significant vices. Plus, she trusts me as her partner. 

 

One of the things we’ve been working on recently is being able to stop using only my seat without picking up the reins. We’ve been working on this for a couple weeks, and it is coming along. Today was one of the days I planned to work on this skill. It was one of those hot, humid south Florida days where the thought of getting tacked up and riding was not that appealing. So, I thought, what if I worked on this bareback? 

 

Discover Where You’re Nervous or Anxious

 

One of the first signs that you’re stretching outside of your comfort level is where you begin to feel nervous, anxious or afraid. It’s where your thoughts start to lead you into self doubt. Where you start telling yourself stories about why you can’t do something. This is also where you start comparing yourself to others. Telling yourself that you’re not good enough. Talking yourself out of even trying. 

 

Now, I have not ridden bareback in 20 years and it is definitely outside of my comfort zone. But it’s a skill I have wanted to develop and feel more “comfortable” with for quite awhile. I also thought that having my seat directly on Lulu’s back would provide a clearer message to her about what I wanted her to do. But I also had thoughts like, what if she spooks, or bolts? Am I good enough to stay on? What if I fall off?

 

Take Baby Steps

 

Taking a baby step is about breaking down the thing you want to accomplish into the teeny tiniest thing you can do to move toward the final goal. If you are feeling anxious about even going to the barn when you wake up in the morning, maybe the tiniest baby step is to just put on your riding clothes and your boots. If that’s all you can do, then celebrate the fact that you did that. But, maybe after you put your boots on, you’ll think, “well I’m dressed, maybe I’ll drive down to the barn and visit with Susie”.  As you begin to bring each uncomfortable step into your comfort zone, your skills and your courage will begin to grow. 

 

Once I got Lulu brushed off and put on her rope hackamore (which is also something new), I brought her over to the mounting block. Lulu is really good at standing still when being mounted and moves toward the mounting block when I stand on it. This is a skill we’ve been working on over the past year and she is very good at it. 

 

However, Lulu has never been ridden bareback before. And we had never practiced me laying over her back and wallowing around up there trying to get my leg over her rump! Oops! What I should have practiced before getting totally on was to lay across her back, stand back up, then doing it over and over again until she became comfortable with it. Also, note to self, take your spurs off so when you’re dragging your foot across her butt, so you don’t bump her with the spur! 

 

Learn From Your Mistakes

 

When you’re stretching outside your comfort zone, you’re going to make mistakes. This is where learning and growth happen! The trick is to actually learn from them, make the correction and move on. Treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success? It is very easy to beat yourself up, to compare yourself with others and to give up when you experience a setback. Celebrate the fact that you are trying new things. 

 

“You have to be a disaster before you can be a master” Pat Flynn

 

Fortunately for me, Lulu, being a calm, level headed horse, did not bolt or jump forward as I struggled to get on. Another horse may have left me face down in the dirt. Once again, choosing the right partner kept me safe!

 

Build Upon New Skills

 

This is about mastering the lower level skill before moving on to the next skill. This is really important when it comes to working with horses. As your confidence and comfort level grows, you may be ready for the next skill, but your equine partner may not be. 

 

If you are too quick to move things along and try something new before mastering the lower level skill, you can actually confuse your horse and delay progress.  For example, if you are trying to learn a flying lead change, there are a lot of steps between cueing for the change and having your horse actually perform it effortlessly. Working with horses takes patience. Your horse has to be ready for the next skill.

 

The converse is also true. Your horse may be trained in the skill, but you the rider, may not be. It’s one of the things I advocate; choosing a horse that knows more than you  so you’re free to learn without worrying about teaching your horse also. 

 

Ask for Help

 

Fortunately in the equestrian world, asking for help is common. Taking riding lessons for years is a common practice. Other sports refer to this as “coaching”, but for some reason we equestrians “take lessons” forever. 

Even though help is readily available in the form of formal lessons or even suggestions from friends, some of us wait too long to ask. I heard someone say once that “frustration begins, where knowledge ends”. I think this is true in more areas of life than just riding. But, if you find yourself in a constant state of frustration that begins to eat away at your newly found confidence, get help. 

 

Have Fun

 

For most of us, horses are a passion. We almost can’t be without them. They are part of us. Riding and owning horses is supposed to be fun. If it’s not, then something is wrong. Even though stretching outside of our comfort zones may be uncomfortable for awhile, the rewards found by trying new things and mastering a new skill should outweigh the discomfort. 

 

After I finally got on Lulu and made my way to the arena, I must admit I was nervous. It was very apparent that she had never had anyone on her back before without a saddle and seemed apprehensive. But, we practiced flexing from sided to side, disengaging the hindquarters, moving all the body parts, backing and even trotting. We also worked on our stop without using the reins. It was fun and I was proud of myself for stepping out of the comfort of my saddle. 

 

What new things are you trying to accomplish with your horse? Let me know in the comments section.

 

If you are looking for a new or your next perfect equine partner, you will want to get my free Dream Horse Buyers guide. It’s a very comprehensive guide on everything you need to know about selecting your next horse. Get yours today!

 

Enjoy the Ride!