Is my horse right for me? If you are asking yourself this question, chances are something about your relationship with your horse doesn’t feel right, or isn’t working. As riders we feel deeply attached to our horses. It’s the reason we own them. And, we can spend years and thousands of dollars trying to perfect this relationship.
Many hopeful riders tend to believe that “horses are forever”, similar to our relationship with our pet dog. But sometimes, we just make a mistake. And this can be hard to admit. Maybe we rushed into the purchase because we were excited to be getting our first horse. Or maybe someone convinced us that this horse was a “good deal”. Maybe we wanted to rescue this horse from its current situation. This is where we need to really examine the relationship and determine if this horse is where we want to continue to spend our time and money.
Riding a horse is a partnership. If the partners are not compatible for various reasons, the partnership could deteriorate. Sometimes the rider loses confidence or feels guilty for having those feelings. We worry that the next home will be bad. We’re concerned that we won’t get our money back out of the horse when we sell him. We worry that we’re the only one that could love and care for this particular horse.
Does Your Horse Have the Talent and Skills You Need?
Here are some questions you should be asking yourself about your horse:
- Does my horse have the ability to help me achieve my goals? As we grow as riders and as people, it’s natural that our interests, abilities and goals change. Perhaps you’ve decided that you want to compete, or change disciplines. This is where you will need to take an honest look at whether your horse’s talents and natural abilities will take you to where you want to go. Is it time for a step up horse?
- Is his health and soundness adequate for what I will be asking him to do? Perhaps your horse is getting a little older and has developed some arthritis or other condition that prevents him from performing at the level you’d like to grow to. But, maybe he’d be the perfect teacher for someone whose skills are behind yours. Maybe he’s someone else’s dream horse.
- Is his training level adequate to help me reach my goals? Are you able to help him get better? If you don’t have the skill set to help him get better, do you have the ability to hire a trainer to help you? Does he require that you keep him in full time training and do you have the resources to do that?
Do you Have the Skills You Need to Ride Your Horse Well?
- Are you frustrated with your progress? Do you tell yourself “nothing I do seems to make a difference”? What is your timeline for achieving your goals? Do you want to spend your money and your time on getting you and your horse trained? Is he honestly capable of helping you achieve your goals?
- Are you afraid of him? Do you feel safe when you are riding or working around him? Maybe he’s not a mean horse, but he loves speed and you love leisurely trail rides. He gets jiggy on the trail and you’re afraid he’ll bolt. Perhaps he’s an off the track thoroughbred and better suited for eventing than trail riding.
- Are you losing confidence in your riding? Are you afraid you’re “ruining” your horse? Maybe you bought a green horse that’s a little too green for your skill level. Even if you know how to ride, you may not have developed a training system to bring a green horse up to the level you want. Or maybe your horse is too advanced for your skills and not as forgiving of your mistakes as you need. One of two things will happen. A) He will object to your lack of experience or B) we will regress to your level of skill. Do you have the resources you need to maintain the relationship, i.e. lessons for you or training for him?
- Are your temperaments well matched? If you are a high energy rider and you want a high energy horse that will carry you over a course of fences or on a 100 mile endurance race, then you could be a good match. However, if you are a timid rider who struggles with confidence, a timid, nervous horse is probably not going to suit you. The personality that you have the most control over is your own. If you want things to improve, you are the one that is going to have to change.
What To Do If You Decide Your Horse Isn’t Right For You
- Get Professional Help. Many of the issues between you and your horse can be overcome… in the right hands. If you decide to get professional help, either for your horse or for yourself, do your research. Not all horse trainers can handle all problems. And not all teachers are suited to your particular needs. Ask around and then visit different training facilities until you find someone who can help you. For more information about finding the right horse trainer or riding instructor, check out this article: How to Find an Exceptional Horse Trainer, Riding Instructor or Coach
- Change it Up. If you discover that your horse may be more suited to a different discipline or style of riding, you can switch. This may be just the answer you’ve been looking for.
- Move On. Sometimes all the love, patience, time and money in the world just isn’t enough and it’s time to find another partner. It’s an emotional and sometimes very difficult decision that only you can make.
Final Thoughts
I read a quote recently that the author had overheard a trainer tell their student. “Sweetheart, there are so many wonderful horses in the world that love to do this job. Why are you insisting on forcing this one to do a job he obviously hates? You both deserve better than this.
If you are looking to get a new horse or your first horse, then you will want to get my free “Dream Horse Buyers Guide”. Click the link below and happy horse shopping!
Enjoy the Ride