Do you feel afraid when you are riding or working around your horse? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to just jump on our horse and go on a trail ride? Do you often worry about falling and getting hurt? Do you get nervous even thinking about riding your horse? Have you ever said “I wish I could feel at peace when I ride”?
What we are talking about is what is usually referred to as fear. We talk about it all the time. We read articles on how to overcome it. We listen to podcasts on how to be more confident to get past it. Yet, we still seem to stay stuck, unable to make progress to pursue the life we want with our horses.
What if I told you that you already have within you everything you need to become confident in your riding?
Defining Fear
In the world of sports psychology, there are two types of fear. There is FEAR which is a response to an ACTUAL threat (sometimes called DANGER) and there is ANXIETY which is caused from a PERCEIVED threat. And they both can FEEL the same in your body. So sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference.
Equine sports psychologist Jenny Susser puts it like this: “With horses, the difference between fear and anxiety is only one plastic bag, blowing in the wind away” Ain’t that the truth! The anxiety is seeing the plastic bag laying on the ground. The fear is when the wind picks it up and it starts floating toward your horse.
And here’s the thing. Equine sports are different from other sports, right? We are basically partnering with a 1000 pound, living, breathing ‘fraidy cat. Not only do we have to manage our own fear, we have to manage theirs, which may be even greater than our own.
So why do we do it? Because we love it! We can’t help ourselves! But, we should not have to risk life and limb to do it, because the reason we ride is to have a great time. To find joy in spending time with our horses and our friends.
So, what can we do to become more powerful around the things that make us feel afraid? Remember I said there are two types of fear? A real threat and a perceived threat?
STEP 1 – Knowing the Difference
The first step is to begin to distinguish the difference. Remember I said they can feel the same in your body? Let’s take a moment and think about what fear FEELS like in our bodies. WHERE do you feel it in your BODY? Is it a tightening in your chest? Are you holding your breath? Do you feel it in your belly?
Let’s also think about WHEN you feel it. Is it before a canter departure? Is it on a trail ride and a dog is lunging at you? Is it at the barn while you’re saddling up? Maybe it’s the moment you step out of your house on the way to the barn. Are you feeling FEAR (Actual Threat ) or is it ANXIETY (Perceived Threat)?
STEP 2 – Horse Selection
If you’ve been following me for a while you know how I feel about horse selection. The horse you choose to throw your leg over is key to your safety, confidence and happiness. If you’ve got a 17 hand, fire breathing giraffe that never has more than two feet on the ground at any one time, there are very few people who can handle a horse like that.
It’s so important that you be connected to your skill set be well matched to your equine partner. You must get real about what you are good at and what you still need to work on. If you’re not connected to your skills, they won’t be available to you when you need to call upon them. Because even the calmest of horses can become fearful under certain circumstances.
I have several articles on horse selection that I’ll link to below:
How to Select a Horse for Riders Over 50
10 Traits Of An Ideal Riding Horse
STEP 3 – Discovering your Skill Set
Remember, that I said that you already have within you everything you need to become confident in your riding? This is the exercise I’ve been wanting to share with you because this exercise will set the tone for you becoming more powerful around your fear. And, you don’t even have to be on your horse to do it. It seems so simple.
Get out a journal or a piece of paper. I like journals because this is going to become a working document that you will keep adding to as things come to mind and your skills improve.
In your journal I want you to write at least 20 things that you are good at, with, on or around your horse. Everything. Don’t judge it, don’t worry about writing duplicates, just write. Now, I can tell you, you’re going to sit down to do this, and probably draw a blank after about 5 things. This is because we often overlook the things that we are good at. We’ve learned to focus on the things that go wrong.
So, on this list, it doesn’t matter how big or how small you think the thing is, if you’re good at it, write it down. It can be everything from cleaning stalls, picking your horse’s feet, catching your horse, riding at the walk, everything that YOU think you are good at, with, on or around your horse. Also, the best time to do this might be after you work with your horse so you can recall the things that went really well.
It’s also important that you write with pen and paper rather than typing your answers on a keyboard. Here’s why. Research shows that when we write with pen and paper we create neural pathways that actually create new memories. Did you ever notice when you were in school, you could remember items for the test when you wrote down notes rather than when you just listened? You didn’t even have to re-read the notes. The mere act of writing them down helped you recall them, right?
The same principle applies here. When you write down your skills with your horse, you’ll be better able to recall them when you need to use them. For example, you notice that your horse is distracted by the horse eating squirrels in the trees outside the arena. Rather than wait for him to spook or bolt, you say, oh yeah, this would be a good time to use my shoulder-in skill. Get it?
COACHING
If you’re serious about moving forward with your goals for your riding and your horse, consider joining my 1:1 coaching program. We will take a deeper look at where you are with your horse, where you want to be and create a plan for getting there. Contact me to set up your free Discovery Call.
Click Here For Your Free Discovery Call
Enjoy the Ride!